Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Baking baby brother

When we were kids, my mother often asked my sister and me to watch my baby brother when she needed to run errands and whatnot.

Often, my sister and I would grab onto B's legs and drag him, kicking and screaming, down our long hallway toward the kitchen.

We would taunt him by telling him that we had the oven all heated up ... just waiting to roast him for dinner.

He was terrified. He would cry and shriek and strain against our grip, trying to break free.

We never actually put him in the oven. It was enough to torture him with threats. We would collapse in giggles before we ever reached the kitchen.

Of course, his memory differs. He swears that he remembers the searing heat as the oven door lay open, waiting ...

Guess there's a reason why he's mom's favorite.

15 Comments:

At Tue Jan 11, 11:37:00 AM, Blogger HarleyWriter said...

What a terrible yet hilarious story.. :)

 
At Tue Jan 11, 01:17:00 PM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

You are a bad, bad person. I only pushed my brothers down the steps. I never threatened to cook them.

 
At Tue Jan 11, 02:59:00 PM, Blogger La Chat Noir said...

No kidding ACW. I am a bad person. Not winning any points in Blogsylvania this week, am I?

 
At Tue Jan 11, 04:10:00 PM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

I was just kidding. I think threatening to cook your brother is hilarious, no matter what his therapist says.

 
At Tue Jan 11, 04:34:00 PM, Blogger Lexagirl said...

Very funny post but let's just hope that baby brother never is assigned Power of Attourney while caring for his elderly sister. I'm just saying...

 
At Tue Jan 11, 04:49:00 PM, Blogger Windigo said...

A shame the Chili's baby back ribs commercial wasn't around then. What a great chant that would've been while dragging him to oven.

 
At Tue Jan 11, 08:23:00 PM, Blogger Colleen said...

I am my dad's favorite. And I remember the HEAT of the clothes dryer that my three brothers put me in. They told me it was just like that fun house thing that spins around.

But I'm ok. Really. I even have my own dryer, and while I recite positive affirmations, I use it.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

 
At Tue Jan 11, 11:46:00 PM, Blogger Bathroom Reading said...

As someone with two older sisters {facial tic}, I can say that the torture you people think is funny {facial tic} really isn't.

My sisters used to stuff me ass-first into a laundry basket. I struggled and struggled, but I couldn't get out.

They learned, eventually, that picking on someone who is 4'4" is fine, except when that very same person grows up into a 6'0", 200 pound guy with resulting zero inhibition at beating the crap out of his sisters.

Oh yes, revenge definitely was a dish served cold.

 
At Wed Jan 12, 12:06:00 PM, Blogger deanne said...

HA! Great story LCN! Here's my own "I am a bad big sister story" (I'll keep it brief as poss).

My little sister is six years younger than me; when she was six, and I was twelve, she had a real thing for shuffling around in zipped up sleeping bags with her cute little face sticking out the top. WELL. It was just too tempting -- I would pull the top ALL the way over her head, and run around the house pulling the sleeping bag behind her.

Nylon fabricked sleeping bag + carpet + yelling six year old = glee glee glee! She yelled a lot at the time, but eventually grew to love it - to this day we still talk about it (and contemplate doing it to our little brother who is 15 years younger than me).

The evil never stops!

 
At Wed Jan 12, 12:07:00 PM, Blogger deanne said...

Duh - that should say "pulling the sleeping bag behind ME"!

 
At Mon Apr 03, 11:03:00 PM, Anonymous sahara said...

That story is hilarious! But I can laugh, cause I'm an only child.

Did he ever get y'all back?

 
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